Has anyone noticed the tumble weeds blowing around Denver Sews? It’s sad when no one notices.
Well, for those that have been wondering we’ve had a few things come up. For one Kitty, who really was the whip cracker of the group, she kept us all on task and kept us moving forward. Kitty had family and friends to tend to and I think the joy of blogging and sewing kind of ran out for the time being. For Jamie work this time of year amps up for her and Lynn had a daughter going off to Japan and family and work obligations. But, she’s posted the first post in a long time!
As for myself, my spouse lost his job, my mother-in-law was evicted from her apartment and had to move into what is essentially our porch and, she has Alzheimer’s which makes the whole thing like a crazy real life Beckett play. Plus, I write up to 5 blog posts/newsletters a week on sewing for work. Even if I had the time the desire has just not been there.
However, I have been spending a lot of time thinking about blogging. I wonder why I do it. It certainly isn’t for the money. I’m sure as heck not getting famous for it and it’s rather labor intensive with all the photos and the prepping and the writing. Least intensive is the actual sewing!
For me I’ve always had a diary. My dad was a diarist. He faithfully kept a journal for 30 years. I started my first diary when I was 10. It’s very funny to read one’s thoughts at 10, I was surprised to see my use of quotation marks and was a budding cinephile.
May 6: Today I didn’t do much. I was planning on running away but I backed out. But, I might tomorrow. We watched “Cabaret” and “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” (Good).
October 8: I can’t believe it! Nothing has happened today except I made pudding.
I have multiple journals lying around, one for sewing, one for deep thoughts, another one for random things. One I’ve filled the entire book up. It was a very sad part of my life. I almost want to burn it, what’s in it brings me a lot of sadness when I read over it.
One I kept at work a couple of years ago and recorded my ‘work’ thoughts. It is not pretty, but damn funny. I have pretty note pads that I jot things down in. I especially like the composition style books. This one is my sewing journal and even though I blog about my sewing adventures, there’s a lot that goes into this book. It’s almost full.
This one is sort of like a photo journal and I cut out pictures of things that are important to me or that I would like to have in my life. I carefully cut out words or phrases that are inspiring and glue them on the pages. It’s a low-tech Pinterest board. It’s funny, but almost everything in this book has come true or come into my life. Pretty amazing that! I wonder if the same could be said of a Pinterest board.
If I didn’t blog, I would still write.
But, the one thing that blogging brings to me that writing in a private journal does not is this unrelenting competitiveness and with that a kind of weird pissy feeling. I see these bloggers with their perfect artsy photos and their upbeat selves smiling in their lovely made whatevers. They’re 20 and have no kids and have time to do it all right. Or worse, they have 5 kids and a job and still manage to do it all and it looks so effortless. Then I get judgmental and the pissy feeling comes and I don’t feel good for secretively hating on ‘em. It’s my own insecurities flaring up absolutely.
Regardless it has me questioning why I still blog or even want to if it’s such a pain in the ass and brings up such negative feelings.
I love the two way communication that blogging offers. I enjoy connecting with others who love to sew no matter the platform or medium. Blogging has built up my confidence. I’m getting more confident in my sewing skills. I’m more comfortable seeing my face on the internet. I’ve never liked taking photos of myself and here I am posting my old mug everywhere or at least the potential. And, any writing is good writing for me whatever the form. I recently said that I think I’ll have a blog tell I die. Even if I just post once a month, I think I’ll always be blogging as long as I remember why I like to blog and keep those black dogs of comparison away.