What goes up must come down and Burda is no exception. After the excellent issue they put out last month, they seem to have gone into a death spiral. I’ll try to stay positive and give you the good news first. My favorite piece from this issue was this color blocked raglan sleeve top. The suggested fabric is jersey, but I could see going up a size and making it in silk (with a zipper in the side probably).

This sweetheart neckline dress / top was in the issue three times, four if you count that they included the pattern in children’s sizes. I think this spread illustrates nicely how it could work in a lot of different fabrics.

I like how this scarf collar dress/blouse has one side of the scarf sewn into the center front seam, and the other end tucks through a small hole so you don’t have to tie it.

In the “sporty” section this petite size dress is just okay. I don’t know why I’m not that into it… I think it looks too 90’s.

Now you can see why I put “sporty” in quotes. Even in solid white, a halter dress with giant patch pockets and a hem flounce just looks like a 50’s apron to me.

This looks like they took all of their original ideas for the issue and crammed them into one dress. The seam lines are interesting but the color blocking is too much. And that front slit with the invisible zipper pull dangling at the crotch? Ew.

This is just… I don’t even know what to say. It’s like they paired Michael Kors shorts with the cheapest white sports bra they could find at Target and a lime green mesh football pinnie. Death spiral.

I can’t take anything seriously after that last one! If you need a dress with deep armpit vents for staying cool while prancing through the Serengeti and making bedroom eyes at a lion slightly off camera, this dress is for you.

Look into my eyes… Don’t look at the pinecone… Just look into my eyes….

STOP LOOKING AT MY PINECONE!

I guess with the number of bomber jacket patterns Burda has been putting out lately, the only way they could differentiate this one was to give it Popeye sleeves and giant flap pockets over the chest area. Good thing they made it in orange and hot pink satin to really drive home how ridiculously unwearable it is. Master POS indeed.

If you liked the dust ruffle dress on the cover, good news, it’s the sewing lesson this month! Every month my eyes twitch a little when I look at these Photoshops and see that the lighting on the mannequin and the outfit are in opposite directions or something like that, but I figure that’s the kind of thing only I’m anal retentive enough to be annoyed by. But this… you can see the models legs through the dress! Seriously, how hard is it to just put the dress on the mannequin to photograph it?

The plus size section… eeesh. I have no idea what is going on here. It’s shot in a 50’s diner and the model is done up in a 50’s hair-do, but none of these outfits have anything to do with the 50’s. Those peasant dresses look kind of 70’s, but the prints look like something from the 90’s. I don’t have a problem with mixing decades/styles, but everything in this issue feels incongruous like there was no vision behind any of it.

Maybe I would make this plus size dress, but I wouldn’t get too excited about it.

Next month has got to be better because I can’t imagine much worse than this. Maybe I shouldn’t say that and tempt Burda to prove me wrong!